Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
