I showed him my bush... on skype.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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