sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
