at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
