He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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