i think my mom watched the whole time
I feel great
I just peed on a car
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
