Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
