Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
