dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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