Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
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