I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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