At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
