i wish peter jackson would direct porn
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
