i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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