Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
