I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
