I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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