how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
