failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
