Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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