the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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