WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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