i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
