Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
