I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
