Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
