Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
