I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
