My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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