it's not cheating when I paid for it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
