Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He had one of those small greek statue penises
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
