Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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