Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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