i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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