Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
