I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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