We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
