Swine flu. Run for my life!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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