I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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