Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
