I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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