Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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