big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
