turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I deserve this hangover.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
