i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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