I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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