Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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