yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
A+ Viking dick
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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