so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
