things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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