she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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