K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i now understand why vodka
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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